What happy people know
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The Platinum Rule

What happy people know #1

Most of us are familiar with the Golden Rule which is “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

But do you know the Platinum Rule? Happy people know the platinum rule which is “Do unto others as they would have you do unto them.”

That is, treat other people the way that they want to be treated, not the way that you want to be treated, because they are not you. They may have different values, opinions, beliefs and practices, and they want to be treated in accord with their preferences not with yours.

I think the Golden Rule, while well intentioned, is very misguided and leads to tremendous amount of misunderstandings. When those misunderstandings occur, the well intentioned person cannot understand where they went wrong.

Teaching children and adults the skill of empathy would decrease a lot of the misery in the world. Empathy means that you put yourself in the other person’s shoes and treat them accordingly.

Happy people have the skill of empathy and operate by the Platinum Rule. Daniel Goleman in his book, Emotional Intelligence, describes the importance of the skill of empathy for life success.

If you want to be happy learn to be empathic, and practice the Platinum Rule.

Happy people know this.


Roberta Hill

The Platinum Rule as described by Tony Alessandra (who is credited with taking this concept and elaborating on it) as you wrote: "Treat others the way they want to be treated." Sounds simple and obvious once you think about it. . . but not so easy to put into practice. How often do we stop and think “What would our spouse like?” or “What does my boss really want?” The Platinum Rule is not just a concept but has a whole model behind it to help others figure out where others are coming from and help someone put himself or herself in someone else’s shoes. There is even an assessment to better understand your own style and that of others. To find out more, you might be interested in reading this article by Tony Alessandra on my web site: http://www.assessmentsnow.com/articleplatinumrule.asp

My associates I use The Platinum Rule assessment with individual coaching clients but where we really see the power of the tool is when working with teams. But some of us use it with families and children just as successfully.

Disclosure: Besides having my own blog about assessments and personality tests, I also sell The Platinum Rule online. If readers are interested, they can purchase this create tool to use at 40% off – just contact me for the special code. http://www.assessmentstoday.com/

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