Markham's Behavioral Health

Suicidal soliders is not so much a mental health problem as a spiritual crisis

Reading about the increased incidence of sucides in the military and the huge numbers of soldiers with PTSD has gotten me interested in something which very few people in American society talk about and that is what Dr. Rachel MacNair calls "Perpetration-Induced Traumatic Stress", PITS.

PITS is the anguish and guilt which one human being feels when he/she kills another human being. This has been increasinly labeled as a mental health problem which it surely is, but even more, it is a spiritual problem in my view. All the mental health treatment in the world, and all the medications cannot absolve the guilt induced by the willful, deliberate killing of another human being.

There is a good article that attempts to describe this problem which was published in the Seattle Times 4 years ago on July 21, 2004. Here is a snippet:

Tucked behind a gleaming machine gun, Sgt. Joseph Hall grins at his two companions in the Humvee.

"I want to know if I killed that guy yesterday," Hall says. "I saw blood spurt from his leg, but I want to be sure I killed him."

The vehicle goes silent as the driver, Spc. Joshua Dubois, swerves around asphalt previously uprooted by a blast.

"I'm confused about how I should feel about killing," says Dubois, who has a toddler back home. "The first time I shot someone, it was the most exhilarating thing I'd ever felt."

Dubois turns back to the road. "We talk about killing all the time," he says. "I never used to talk this way. I'm not proud of it, but it's like I can't stop. I'm worried what I will be like when I get home."

The men aren't Special Forces soldiers. They're troops with the Army's 2nd Armored Cavalry Regiment serving their 14th month in Iraq, much of it in daily battles. In 20 minutes, they will come under attack again.

Many soldiers and Army psychiatrists say these constant conversations about death help troops come to grips with the trauma of combat. But mental-health professionals within and outside the military point to the chatter as evidence of preventable anguish.

It is very difficult for us as a nation to face up to the immoral and illegal war which we have perpetrated and are paying for which was based on lies and deceit by our government, let alone for our soldiers who have actually killed other human beings, civilians, women, children, for reasons that are not clear at behest of psychopathic and irresponsible leaders. What does this killing do to a person's soul other than lead to anguish, revulsion, self-recrimination, and too often self destruction in one form or another.

Families of these suffering souls have wanted to be proud of their relative's service and to believe it was for a good cause, but the truth does not match the delusion. The inability of people back home to "understand", let alone accept, the truth, leaves the suffering soldier even more isolated and tormented.

What is the answer to the spiritual suffering? The truth and repentence. Will McCain or Obama lead us there? I doubt it very much unless we as a country are willing to face our demons and admit that what has been done in our name is wrong. Witnessing the suicides and PTSD of our returning soldiers fortunately or unfortunately won't let us ignore or forget the heinous acts they have been asked and compelled to do in our name. The guilt belongs to us all not just to the perpetrators, but they are the more active participants while we just watch, cheer them on, and lie to them telling them they are doing grand, honroable, and glorious things when deep in their souls they know better.

I intend to write more on this topic so I am adding a new category to my blog today called Perpetration induced stress.

Nation & World | Soldiers trained to kill, not to cope | Seattle Times Newspaper.

 

Mamma Mia!, the film

It's a rainy day here in Brockport, NY on Sunday, July 20, 2008 and the local Strand theater has Mama Mia, Hancock, and The Dark Knight. The Dark Knight started at 1:00 PM and Mama Mia started at 1:15 PM. I noticed that The Dark Knight got better reviews in the Rochester Democrat and Chronicle and so I chose that and lasted about 15 minutes. There was enough gratuitous violence in the first 15 minutes and the stupidest plot line I suffered in so short a period in a long time, I walked out thinking that Mama Mia couldn't be any worse.

So, I walked out of theater 3 and into theater 1 and was more satisfied. Mama Mia is corney musical, but the music by Abba and the acting by Merle Streep makes this movie. It is definitely a chic flick, and the women in the audience this afternoon outnumbered men by 2:1 and the men who were there besides me were there with a woman whom I am guessing dragged their reluctant husbands or boyfriends.

The storey line of Mama Mia is that 20 year old Sophie (Amanda Seyfried), the daughter of single mom Donna (Meryl Streep) who runs a bed and breakfast on a romantic Greek Island, finds her mother's diary and finds out that her mother had sex with three men around the time of her conception and she wants her father at her wedding. Unbeknownst to her mother Sophie invites her mother's former 3 lovers to the wedding. The fiasco that follows makes up the musical romantic comedy.

Overall, I enjoyed it, and would rate Mama Mia a 3 on a scale of 5.

The Dark Knight gets a 1 in my book.

Mamma Mia! (2008).

Excessive texting is a tell tale sign of infidelity

There was a brief article in the Telegraph, a newspaper in the United Kingdom, on 06/25/08 about how excessive text messaging can be a sign of infidelity. Here is part of what the article says:

Excessive texting and emailing is now the number one sign of infidelity, a leading law firm has said.

Family lawyers said an addiction to text messages or emails has replaced "working late" at the office as the main tell tale signs of an extra-marital affair.

Andrew Newbury, partner at specialist law firm Pannone said: "We see the same features in so many of the marital disputes that we deal with.

In the last 3 months I have had 5 couples where the spouse is objecting to the number and type of text messages being sent by his/her spouse. In one case, the wife objected that her spouse had sent 6,000 text messages to a female co-worker the preceding month. The husband claimed it was merely a friendship with a co-worker and there was nothing romantic going on.

Last night, I saw an upset husband who stated that his wife is getting all kinds of text messages from male co-workers at all times of the day and on weekends and when he asked what was going on, his wife became very defensive and denied any wrong doing. She was further defensive when he called the cell phone company wanting the phone records.

I have several other cases now where text messaging and setting up of accounts on MySpace has concerned spouses that their spouse is engaging in behavior that could lead to infidelity. In my experience, sometimes this has happened. In one case and unhappy wife of 26 years, left her husband to meet some man she had been corresponding with on the Internet who lived in another state. The wife knew nothing about this person other than from the emails.

It is interesting to learn how the new technology is being used in human relationships. Often the concern is for children and protecting them from predators and other questionable activities like taking and circulating nude photos of themselves (which I had one 13 year old client do). And yet, it seems that adults are getting into just as much, if not more, trouble.

Like any new technology, the technology itself is value free - in and of itself is amoral, but the use to which humans put it often raises all kinds of moral issues. With technology like text messaging, we are only being to learn how this new form of communication will affect human relationships.

Excessive texting is a tell tale sign of infidelity - Telegraph.

McCain gets it wrong on birth control

Many insurance companies cover prescriptions for Vigara but not for birth control. John McCain doesn't know what he thinks about the issue, needs to check with his handlers, before he takes a position.

This is not a difficult issue. Birth control definitely should be covered by health insurance. It clearly is in the patient's interest and society's interest for people to be able to control their fertility. McCain gets it wrong.

Video lasts 2:14

A Good Baby, the film

Raymond Toker lives in Appalachian mountains of North Carolina. The family home has burned down and apparently his parents and a younger sister have died in the fire. An older brother, LeRoy, is doing time in state prison, and Raymond, a loner, is living in the root cellar next to the burned down house.

One day while out hunting, Raymond finds a baby abandoned, and tries to get several women to take it and raise it but they all refuse so Raymond keeps the baby himself.

This is an odd movie, but somewhat believable, and it casts a man in the role of being a nuturant, and protective parent which is quite different from how men are portrayed in our contemporary society.

I enjoyed this movie and it is quite different from the commercial schlock in the theaters this summer.

A Good Baby (2000).

50% of children born in the United States to women under 30 are born to unwed mothers

There was a very informative and important show on July 1, 2008 on On Point dealing with the number of births in the United State to unwed mothers.

Here is a snippet from the On Point web site:

New research finds that more than 50 percent of all births to women under 30 are out of wedlock. Fifty years ago, it was 6 percent.

It's the unintended consequence of big shifts in culture and policy, and it's got long-range implications for the way we live.

The show lasts about 48 minutes and you can listen on line. I highly recommend it.

WBUR & NPR's On Point : Young, Unmarried, with Children.

On Chesil Beach, the book

The year is 1962 and Edward 23, marries Florence, 22 and both virgins go to Chesil Beach on the Dorset Coast for their honeymoon. Edward is horney as hell and Florence is scared out of her wits, and though they love each other ostensibly, their first attempt at sex is a disaster which sets off a round of recriminations that dooms their once hopeful marriage.

Ian McEwan's novella is a masterful description of human emotion, interpersonal dysfunction, and tragedy entirely of our own making. It would be a wonderful book to use in a course on Marriage and Family Therapy.

I recommend this book, Ian McEwan's, On Chesil Beach

Cindy and John McCain seem to have a problem with the truth. If John can't get things right in his marriage how can he get things right for the country?

Cindy and John McCain have an interesting marriage. Cindy tells Jay Leno that she learned to fly an airplane and kept it secret from John, and the two of them lied to each other about their ages, she saying she was 4 years older than she was, and he saying he was 4 years younger than he was. She said they never found out the truth about each others ages until they had to apply for their marriage license and give their correct ages. She also says she became addicted to pain killers after back surgery and John never suspected a thing, but her parents noticed that she had a problem. It sounds like they are skilled at gaslighting each other. If John has trouble with truthfulness in his marriage how can he be honest as leader of the free world? Expect the gaslighting to continue whenever it's to his advantage.

Video of Cindy's appearance on Jay Leno lasts 2:25

Addiction to attention which turns into promiscuous sex

On June 11, 2008, Deborah Harper, President of Psychjourney interviewed Kerry Cohen, the author of Loose Girl: A Memoir of Promiscuity about her book, her life, and her work as a psychotherapist.

Ms. Cohen talks about her addiction to attention which she obtained by projecting herself as a sex object for numerous boys. As Ms. Cohen says it wasn't about the sex as much as the hope in getting their attention that they would make her whole.

This interview lasts about 30 minutes and is well worth listening to by any psychotherapist working with young women, and/or parents of young women, or young women themselves who crave attention and use their sex appeal to obtain that attention.

I am reminded of a client of mine, a 17 year old young woman,who told me "I'd rather be used than be alone."

I recommend this interview. You can go to the psychjourney web site by clicking on the link below.

[[Psychjourney]].

The other Mrs. John McCain, Carol not Cindy

It seems odd that once again, important information about things in the U.S. comes from outside the United States. Here is a link to a very interesting article printed yesterday, 06/08/08, in the British newspaper, The Daily Mail, about John McCain's marriages.

Is this the kind of person you want making judgments about what's best for us Americans?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1024927/The-wife-John-McCain-callously-left-behind.html#